on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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