Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
