guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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