Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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