and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
