I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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