omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
