Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
