i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
How does one acquire holy water?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
