You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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