it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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