this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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