and my herpes radar will keep us safe
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize