And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
