they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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