She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Dick very happy bro
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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