and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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