I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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