Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
