White coat. Heels.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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