so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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