Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Boobs are out for the taking
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
