She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
