Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
