her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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