It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
