And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
My vagina is very pro this idea
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
