Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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