Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
