its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
