Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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