tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Randomize
