I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize