when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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