i just google imaged poop.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
