Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
