Do you still have your period?
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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