so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
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