I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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