Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
