hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
