I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
