I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Randomize
