i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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