Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize