didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
