I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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