I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
