Welp...herpes.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
