only you would photoshop your dick
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
