Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
God, you're like boner-b-gone
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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