i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
