She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
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