Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
