I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
