I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Randomize