"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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