doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
