I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
