my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
